Dear Family (Part 7)

                                                                                                                        July 25^th, 2012

Yo Fam,

            This letter was going to be a “Quick Update” but since I put a Cold 40 at the end, I’m making it a “Family” letter. I don’t want to put Cold Forties in different places, inconsistently.

            Alright, Incandesio sent me a letter, and she also included some comments. You guys are wild for real! There was a big debate on who the best rapper was, and a lot of people participated. There was even a hater in the house saying a few unkind things about me, and one person told him that he only made us stronger. That’s true. I know it’s not easy when these people insult me, or you, but haters are necessary for our movement. Even though their mouths are no different than a hog’s asshole, we can use them to stay focused. They’re the whole reason I decided to start this process of showing you the facts of my case, and they motivate me more than you know. Do I wish they would disappear? Not really. Even though they got me twisted, they strengthen me, so I’m thankful for them. I encourage you guys to use those kind of people as fuel to work harder, and accomplish more. That’s what I do, and I’ve been getting hated on since birth, practically.

            Now, let’s get to this subject of who the best rapper is. Well, for some people it may be me, because they feel my pain, my joy, my sense of humor, my life. For others, it may be Drake, or Weezy, or Em, or even Snoop. Ya see, the best rapper is who you can feel the most. And since everybody’s life differs, their choices of music will differ. But you’ve also got to consider skill; stuff like rhyming capacity, witty story-telling, ability to connect with listeners. Tupac was great at touching people’s emotions because he spoke so vividly of the struggle. He made a lot of people say, “That’s me! I went through that!” It was just one of his many gifts.

            Eminem also touches emotions but his rhyming ability is fucking Einstein shit. If I had some lyrics of his, I’d show you rhymes that you never knew were there. And you’d be, like, “Damn, this dude is remarkable!”

            Weezy is brilliant with metaphors and rhyming, alike. The thing about a lot of his material is it focuses on commercial appeal. But that’s why he’s the most successful rapper in the world, and has been for a while.

            Jay-z is another lyrical genius. He’s like Babe Ruth, he might not hit a homerun everytime, but when he steps to the plate, he’s as dangerous as they get.

            I’ll tell you another monster, and that’s K-Rino. That man will give you much more than what your dollars and cents could ever give to him. He’s a giant.

            One person mentioned how great Big Pun was, and I whole heartedly agree. He was a masterful lyricist, and funny, too. Big Pun’s music is the shit, and let me tell you something about Fat Joe: That dude is the realest rap artist I’ve met. He made my visits to New York so awesome that I didn’t want to leave. I love Fat Joe, and he’s no punk on that mike, either.

            There’s another artist, who happens to be extremely good-looking, who I’m sure Eva Longoria, Eva Mendez, and Even Ya-Mama dream about late at night. That would be me, and guess what? If you ask me who the best rapper is, I’ll be honest and say I am. Why? Because my music reflects my life, my thoughts, on beats that I love. So, of course, it’s what moves me the most. At the same time I’m nice with multi-syllable rhymes, with story-telling skills, with metaphors, and even humor, (at least what I think is humorous.) Some may disagree. They may say, “Nah, so ‘n’ so is better.” And that’s true for them. But if I could listen to any CD right now, I would pick one of my own. That shit is like medicine to my soul. I’m not sure which album I’d pick, but I’m leaning towards “Reveille Park.” We had a lot of fun doing that one.

            You know, that reminds me of something I read in your comments a while back. This is off the subject, but a person wrote that Reveille Park and South Park were two different areas, so which was I really from? I found that quite rude!

            The answer is that I moved to South Park (from the Southeast Side) in the 7^th grade. My mom stumbled on a deal to buy a small trailer park in a neighborhood called Hillwood. I don’t think she knew that I’d be the only Mexican dude in my entire school (Woodson Middle School), but that was the case. I was also the only Mexican in my entire High School (Worthing), but everybody knew me by then. My name came from a joke that was said in middle school. A kid asked me my name and I said “Carlos.” He said, “We’ll just call you Mexican since you the only one we got.”

            Then another kid said, “Yeah, he the South Park Mexican!” And everybody laughed like it was the funniest thing on earth. I guess it is kind of funny when you think about it. You’ll get to read all about this in the book I’m writing. Now, back to the subject.

            There’s many greats in this thing called “rap.” You got Biggy, Scarface, Keke, Bash, Pat, Bing, Pimp, Grimm, Nas, Ro, Kanye, Andre, T.I., Luda and on and on. I could literally write dozens of pages of names from the Bay Area, to Southern Cali, to the NY burroughs, to the whole Dirty Third.

            Then you got groups like NWA, Mobb Deep, The Fugies, Bone Thugs, Wu-Tang, Geto Boys, Black Monks, Street Military, South Park Coalition, The Most Hated, Dogg Pound. When great minds come together, it becomes more powerful that what any one man can do.

            I could go further back to Dana Dane, Slick Rick, MC Breeze, Naughty By Nature, LL Cool J, Chub Rock, Run DMC, Beastie Boys. All these guys were the best during different times, and there’s many more, and many more to come.

            So, yeah, I thank you if you think I’m the best, but there’s too many lifestyles, too many rap styles to say our opinion means more than someone elses. And don’t let me forget about Lecrae, a rap artist who happens to be a Christian. I can tell you one thing: There’s a million lies about life, and only one truth; that’s God’s truth. So, if you want to talk about the realest rapper on earth, you should be looking at the ones who are delivering the truth.

            A lot of people just want something to dance to. I can tell you now that I’m not your best choice. I don’t make music for clubs or radio stations. Honestly, people who love the fuck out of my music, are usually those who can relate to all the pain I’ve been through. But not everybody has lived a hard life. Is it their fault they can’t feel my music? Of course not. You can’t make someone like the music you like. There’s all types of walks of life, and that’s why there’s all types of music. Nobody’s right or wrong when it comes to who is the best. We all have our own favorites, and that’s the beauty of life.

            I might think ketchup is nasty, but you might think it’s delicious. Is one of us lying? No, what’s true for you and what’s true for me can be two different things. It’s great to debate stuff, but at the same time, respect people’s differences. There’s no need to get sore when someone doesn’t share your taste.

            Now, with your permission, I’ll get to the Cold 40, but let me explain something. I’ve got a homeboy over here (lol!) named Miglo, who be trying to challenge me. He sends me his flows on paper, and I respond. I saved his flows and the rough drafts of my responses because I thought you might like to see how I destroy him. So here’s one of our bloody rounds, and trust me, it wasn’t my blood. Don’t get the wrong idea, though. Miglo is a good friend of mine. We’re just joking with each other. Still, his flows need more help than a blind man on a hunting trip. Also, keep in mind that he doesn’t seem to understand the four beats per bar that keep the delivery on time. His lines are not on a beat, (at least I couldn’t figure out an structure.) I’ll start with Miglo’s, um, attempt, and then mine will follow. I’ll spell everything exactly how he did, which, I’m sure, will motivate you youngsters to stay in school.

Title: "Give It Up Carlos"

Yo! Fat nigga! Give up rap and become my oblation

cuz wreckin your career is my only temptation

I can feel the lust better than self masturbation

close your eyes trick and have that imagination

cuz going to war with me is like war with the nation

I'm bombing first "Bombma Nation"

smashin you until I reach my fuckin destination

that's the only direction my lyrics poisonin

your veins my "pen" is da lethal injection

watch out Carlos your car's on the wrong intersection

"give it up" is your only coffection

Before I eat your career like a fuckin infection

yo! Los your still claimin that you got the title

But your new shit ain't hood! must be packin da Bible

I'm fuckin street approve nigga! I'm packin for survival

But anyways your spittin cartoon raps, is this a battle

let me take initiative to spank u with da paddle

you're no cobra, your a fuckin snake playin with your rattle

You got old dreams, I'm the new king of all castles

na! your not a fuckin hasle

But nigga exhale that crack smoke

shoulda stuck with Mary, da motha of da Mexican smoke

But now your like George Lopez a fuckin Mexican joke

Puff Puff, pass you know the ropes

Don't make me tie it to you thrick until you choke

(Don't trip) my brain is just Cloudy chee, chee chong

your fat ass up in smoke!

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Lol! I told you it was terrible, but that's my nigga. Bless his heart, at least he tries. I normally wouldn't respond to something this wack, but smashin Miglo has gotten to be fun. Here's how I responded to this one.

"Crack Town"
(Another Cold 40)

Wreckin you is easy, nigga, I don't even think long

you pushed the doorbell, now you get the ding dong

put you in a pink thong, dancin to a Pink song

people like, "Hey motherfucker put your jeans on!"

steppin to the king, What'cha do, nigga, sniff a line?

it ain't been a minute and it's already Miller Time

so fuckin clear who the mothafuckin champion is

beat yo ass blacka than the nipples was on Janet's tits

snap ya ribs, crack ya hips, now you rap in bandages

took you to an Asian doc, "Two spoon-o-panda piss!"

Why would you battle this crack I spit, savage shit?

knowing you are softer than the fur around a camel's lip

send you to the demons if you eva try to try again

got enough bullets for a party so invite a friend

nigga I'm a grizzly bear, walkin round a rabbit farm

let me shake ya hand, now you screamin, "I don't have an arm!"

How you gon' be on Facebook if you ain't got a face?

still I'm gon' slap you like you broke my enchilada plates

thinkin it was worth a shot, homie get a circus job

"Come see the man with no nuts! Like the Kermit frog!"

honestly, hold the noise, losin is your only choice

fucked you like you on a bus with the Los Lonely Boys

trapped in the last cabin, screamin, "you fat bastards!"

Now I know what you meant when you called'em "back stabbers"

then ya called Houston cops: "Sir, you been through a lot,

but, wearin g-strings will always get your boody got.

Think about it, true or not? Still, Sir, it's good to talk.

Tell me what happened next." I don't know! They wouldn't stop!

then ya heard the other cops laughin in the background

One said, "Do a movie on it, call it 'Crack Town'!"

so ya just threw the phone, landed in ya neighbor's pool

anytime you step to me, son, you gon' play the fool

Welcome to my School of Rap--"Why was I suspended, man?!!"

cause ya can't flow, why the fuck do you pretend ya can?

Look how I demolish you, chop you into fish bait

make ya ass pay like a mothafuckin rich date

maybe you just want some help, wishin I would give advice

Nope, I just send ya home like the fuckin kid with lice

but ya came back so I'm questionin ya mental health

"Will I ever win?!!" not unless you bet against yaself....haha!

Leave it alone, baby boy.
I'm too cold.
Los

P.S. Family, believe it or

not, he was insane enough to

try again. I'll show you how

I chopped'im up even worse on my

next letter.

P.S. II My flow was not meant to

disrespect Los Lonely Boys in any

way. I'm a huge fan of theirs,

and from what I understand, they

love our music, too. I was just joking

with Miglo's ass, literally.

P.S. III I can't believe this, but "oblation"

is a real word! I just know he meant to spell

"obligation," though.