Daughters

A phrase that comes up pretty frequently in discussions of Carlos Coy is this: “Well, I have a daughter…”

It was even mentioned in an article that the Houston Press published in 2009, written about a blog post written by Rolando Rodriguez. Now, it doesn’t mention anything about it in the article, but Mr. Rodriguez has written for the Houston Press. I don’t know when that relationship started.

But this is a blog post, presumably written for the site www.redbrownandblue.com, that the Houston press thought was awesome enough to devote an article of their own. Now, a search of Redbrownandblue does not bring up the article; for some reason, it’s been removed. If you’re a little tricky you can track down a copy of it through Google, but the relevant portion of it is quoted by the Houston press. Here’s Mr. Rodriguez’ take on the Free Spm movement:

I have an eight-year old daughter and the thought of anything like that happening to her doesn't allow me to support the "Free SPM" movement, and that should be reason enough for those who have children of their own and do follow the "Free SPM" movement, not to anymore. I'd rather be wrong about SPM's guilt and face my own community in embarrassment, than be wrong about his innocence and face my own daughter in shame."

I think this is a good summation of any argument that begins with "Well, I have a daughter..."

Let's take it in two parts. First up: I have an eight-year old daughter and the thought of anything like that happening to her doesn't allow me to support the "Free SPM" movement, and that should be reason enough for those who have children of their own and do follow the "Free SPM" movement, not to anymore.

Okay, so you have a daughter. Imagine for a moment that some ex-girlfriend, sister-in-law or random teacher gets a bug up her ass about you. Let’s say she asks your daughter a bunch of leading questions (Does Daddy ever hug you too hard? Has he ever helped you go potty? Is he ever in the room when you put your pajamas on?) and decides that your daughter has been sexually abused. By you. Maybe she really believes it, or maybe she’s just pissed and wants to see your life fucked up.

So she goes as an ‘Outcry Witness’ to the police. If you watch movies about lawyers and courts, you probably know that ‘hearsay evidence’ isn’t admissible in court…Except in the case of Sexual Assault of a Child. In those cases, the ‘Outcry Witness’ can go into court and testify about what they say they were told by the child. As far as as I can tell, no proof is required.

So back to your theoretical ex/relative/teacher, who at this time has just finished swearing to the police that you’re a filthy baby-raper. The police don’t know you and don’t know her, but they decide that you look kind of shifty and send a social worker to take your wife and daughter to a ‘children’s center’ where your daughter is surrounded by people who have spent years in college learning how to ‘detect abuse’.

These people have paid a lot of money for their degrees, and they’re going to get some use out of them, dammit. So they ask your daughter questions; simple questions, smiling helpfully and nodding when she answers. Then they start asking her questions about how she feels about being hugged, or tickled by you. Does daddy ever drink beer or volunteer to help with her soccer team?  Pretty soon they’re asking your little baby how she feels about your penis, and telling her that you're just a very sick man, that you need help, and if she just answers the questions then they can get you that help. What little girl wouldn’t want to help her Daddy, especially if all she has to do is make up answers to a few weird questions about something she can’t possibly understand?

Don’t think your daughter would fall for it? What about your daughter’s best friend? Or the kid that your wife sometimes babysits? Do you think that baby will stand up for you against an army of adults armed with therapy degrees and social worker accreditations? After all, who doesn't love a good court case about perverse Satan-worship and cannibalism?

So you have a daughter…Then you should be twice as worried about this because if the system does get their claws into you and you’re sent away, she gets to grow up without a father. If you want to be be there for your daughter, you need to be considering how easy it was for Coy to be convicted. No evidence, weak 'victim' testimony, in a county that is absolutely fucking famous for convicting the innocent. Think about it the next time you defend a court system that can and has sent men to prison for decades on the testimony of an outcry witness, an army of 'experts' and a scared, confused little kid.

The second part of the quote is this: I'd rather be wrong about SPM's guilt and face my own community in embarrassment, than be wrong about his innocence and face my own daughter in shame."

Because his conviction is really all about you, huh? It’s about how YOU feel, and what YOU would rather see happen. His deprivation, his imprisonment, his tragedy is nothing compared to the possibility of you being shamed in front of your daughter.

But hey, if he’s eventually proven innocent, all you have to suffer from is a little embarrassment. Well shit, that’s not such a bad deal! You get a little red-faced while he will be left to pick up the pieces of a life that was effectively stolen away by a justice system that didn’t even have the decency to demand proof of wrongdoing.

No. No, I don’t buy this shit for one second. If you have sons and daughters, fear for all of them; but I believe it will be easier to keep our daughters out of the hands of sexual predators than it will be to defend our sons if they’re ever falsely accused of sexual misconduct. All it would take to put my boy or yours in prison for the rest of his life is a girl with a grudge and a prosecutor with a stick up her ass. That last link is to a story about a six year-old being charged with a first degree felony for playing ‘doctor’. That's right, six years old.

You think this shit can’t happen to you, or to someone you love? Then keep your head in the sand, and I hope to God that you never find out you're wrong. If you can deny that this bullshit is happening, then you might not be strong enough to survive if it does.