Dear Family 16

El Fambino,                                                                                  1/1/14

      Today, I was looking through some paperwork, and found a letter of me answering some questions and comments you had. This stuff isn’t exactly new, but if I never sent it, it is like new. If I’ve already sent it, forgive me, I’m just trying to get everything out to you.

      Anonymous said.....

      how does your wife feel about you rapping about fucking all these other women, does that shit not bother her?

      Answer: Damn good question! And one I refuse to answer. Next question, please.

      Anonymous said.....

      how does your wife feel about you rapping about fucking all these other women, does that shit not bother her?

      Answer: Damn it, I said ‘next question!’ You don’t listen very well. But, since you won’t take “no” for an answer, I’m force to endure this humiliating situation.

      First of all, keep in mind that my wife is only one person, which equals one album sell. Should I worry about losing one sell when everybody else is jammin my shit? I’m not sayin that everybody wants to hear about The Adventures of El Chorizo, but 99.9 percent of all underground artists rap about fucking hoes. Not to be rude, but why have you singled out my penis? What did Big Byron every do to you!

      Needless to say, I don’t think it bothers my wife. She understands this business, not to mention, she gets to spend all the money. She’s also not a rap fan, she mostly listens to Spanish and Country. So, it’s not like she jams SPM to the point where she wants to cut off my balls.

      “Hey! What did we do?!” (voice of my balls)

      But there was a time when I said something on a song that bothered me so much, I couldn’t release it. It was on “Filthy Rich”, which is on the “Never Change” album. It was at the end of the last verse. Here’s what I originally said:

      “All alone, in another city

      I stepped on a condom and it made me feel shitty”

      I couldn’t let that line remain. I told the engineer to erase it, and let me replace it with something else. If you listen to that part, you can hear how my voice is different because it’s a replacement line.

      “But Los, did that really happen? Did you really wake up in your hotel room, and while you were walking to the restroom, you stepped on one of your used condoms from the night before?”

      “I refuse to answer that question.”

      “Fine, be that way!”

Anonymous said....

Are you still planning on releasing a Spanish album?

Answer: I’d love to, and I believe I will, but my Spanish is nowhere where I’d like it to be. My mom sent me a good book on it, but I’ve been so busy that it’s just sat there the last four years. Right now, I’m engulfed in S.O.N. relate biz, and it’s always one thing or another that stops me from accomplishing this super-important goal. But you asked for it, so here I go!

Me no speaky engliss, me speaky spangliss

me no speaky nada except “Tell me where the cain is!”

run up in yo casa, rob you in yo chanklas

if you try to run, me will shoot you in the noglas

mira lo que pasa, that was fuckin Juan’s song

smokin till I’m Japanese, call me Jackie Wong Dong

rollin with my Lucy Lu, she like “Pappasito!

Thassa notta eggroll, thassa big burrrito!”

      Ejay said.....

      What does the Dope House Army mean to you and how are we actually part of the spread of S.O.N.

      Answer: The DHA is the most important part of DHR. Not only are you guys fans, but you’re willing to dedicate your time and effort to strengthen our company. That means the world to me.

      My boy Young J Hemingway is doing a good job of engaging with the DHA, and that’s with minimal communication with me. I’m spread so thin, right now, that I depend on you guys to work together in the spreading of The S.O.N. You already do that just by listening to, and talking about, the song we’ve released. Keep encouraging more friends to tune in and join our movement. This company was built for you, and that will never change. We’re all in this together so represent Dope House to the fullest. Stay away from drugs, gangs, troublesome people, and anything else that will hurt your life. The stronger the soldier, the stronger the army.

      956 said.....

      Who would you want to work with from Houston that you haven’t worked with already?

      Answer: Hold on, are you saying rapping is work? No, man! All you do is grab your crotch and babble a bunch if bullshit! I hate work, that’s why I rap!

      Well, I fux with the Swisher House, that’s for sure. The South Park Coalition are my peeps. Of course, my boy Scarface is my nigga. There’s a lot of new talent comin out the city, too. I can’t forget about the boy Z-Ro. I’d like to work some more with my nigga Chingo Bling. I’m a big Devon the Dude fan, too. There’s all kinds of artists who I’d like to wreck with.

Hopefully, soon.

      A Patient Fan said.....

      Would you help one of us new coming rappers (Mexicans) with verses or some kind of tour to view talent around to carry on where u left off for Mexicans to be the craziest mofuckers be sure to stop by NC couple out here doing it

      Answer: I’m almost positive that was a run-on sentence, but a damn good question!

      Let me say that the internet has made the world a very small place. It’s not about who you know, anymore; it’s about who’s truly dope. If your flow is crack, you’ll gain a following. People love to tell others about good music, music that moves them. That’s how you gain and grow your following. That’s when bigger labels take notice.

      I could help a struggling artist if I wrote for him, but that’s not easy from here. Because I’d also have to show them how it’s delivered. Plus, for a rap artist who needs a ghost writer, rapping may not be their calling. But if you’re dope, just keep putting it out there and people will follow. Dope sells itself.

      Anonymous said.....

      Spm not really a fan of reading but your letters and post are fucking addicting, I never readed a book before, and if I do read one it would be only if the author is Carlos Coy are you going to release the book soon?

      Answer: Your kind words lifted my spirits, brother. Thank you. I won’t even mention the run-on sentence.

      I used to never read either. It wasn’t until I came to prison that I read my first book. I’m still not that big of a reader, but reading books helps you to be a better writer, so I keep a good book in my “house” at all times. Right now I’m reading the Eragon series, which is about dragons and swords and elves and magic. My dream is to be an author, and I really think you’re going to like my first book. I’ve let some homeboys read the rough draft, and they were crazy about it. One homeboy said it was the best book he ever read.

      Your comment encouraged me to work harder on completing the book, and I’ll keep you updated on that. Thanks, again.

      Anonymous said.....

      Do = o you listen to Immortal Technique? What’s the deal with the back cover of your album Time is Money? Illuminati??????

      Answer: I’ve got a homie who sent me some of Immortal’s lyrics. I enjoyed reading them. He’s a great story-teller, one of the best in my opinion. I’ve never heard his songs because all we have here is AM/FM radios. But he’s def very gifted.

      I’ve gotten a few questions about the Illuminati, and I didn’t even know who that was when I was free. Apparently, they’re some secret group who probably has a “No Mexicans Allowed” sign above the entry to their secret meeting room. Well, screw you, man! I didn’t want to be in your group anyway! I’ll start my own hush-hush organization. I’ll call it the Chalupanati. I’ll ask Eva Longoria, Eva Mendes and Sophie Vergara to join me, and we’ll have our own private meetings.

      Well, ladies and gents, I’ll leave you with a Cold Forty. This one was written awhile back, in response to Rob D’s last forty-line verse. We were in a battle, and I clearly destroyed him. But, I guess he thinks he’s Bruce Willis in Die Hard so I’ll go ahead and finish him off. Sorry, Robbie, but you asked for it:

Another Cold 40

"SPM Wrecked My Son And All I Got Was This Stupid Shirt!

You will be the frog, Rob, welcome to my Science class

students, please cut from the soft tissue by his ass

label each organ usin lil hand writin

"Where's his nuts, Sir, cause we still can't find'em?"

Damn it, kids, you always gotta ask hard questions!

He has none, even though his dad's part Meskin

I'm sure he had a nice attitude, on the telephone

so it didn't matter he was lackin in the central zone

Stop laughin class! I am not some failed comedian!

You can still be a male without the male ingredient!

now everybody look close, also take a close look

see how Rob's head is crushed? jot that in your notebook

"Look, Mr. Coy, his right eyeball is hanging out!"

that's cause he tryda battle me, and the payin crowd

wanted blood, wanted gore, automatic weaponry

killin every nigga in the game, plus the referee

what the fuck posesses me? a demon or angelic love?

nigga went from sellin drugs to buyin fuckin seven clubs

sittin up in telly tubs, bitches give me belly rubs

even hired Dad, no idea what the hell he does

used to move heavy drugs, slangin to the petty thugs

now I'm at the Billboard Awards givin Nelly hugs

no, not the Black dude the chick that sings with Timbaland

servin mothefuckas like a Meskin at the Wimbledon

if I don't win I grin 'n' then I send my killaz in

they will steal the trophy even take the women's shit with them

listen friend, it's simple when I kick a gem a cripple men

little pen will kill again like fifth of Gin killed Jimmy Hen

you can be July, mothafucka, I'm the fireworks

nigga so hot I use my left hand, to iron shirts

compitition, my desserts, like the words inside ya verse

how the fuck I'm dyin first, I'm the one who drives the hearse

wreckin every rapper in the world, it's a simple job

murda rap families, then after that I kill the dog

nigga I'm the sun, and the mothafuckin sea strand

so the hoes love me for the dick and the free tan

graduated nervously, Crack University

majored Trigga-Nometry, minor was in servin "D"

words unequal lurk in he who merked ya in the first degree

still I felt bad so I gave ya mom a shirt for free.....

Losy

I’ll write you guys more, soon. I love you.

Con Todo Mi Amor,

Carlos